Year: 2013

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Oh! The Joy of Buying a Tallit with Family and Grandparents

I love my job. Watching the tears of joy on a family members’ face as they see their child or grandchild in a tallit for the first time is the most gratifying experience.

In the past eight years when I have been selling tallitot to my customers, whether it be online or in my studio, I see the family experience as a most valuable one.
Buying a tallit for a child to wear at his Bar or Bat Mitzvah symbolizes not only that they will read from the Torah for the first time, but much more. To most families, it means the passage into adulthood when a life cycle changes and their child is growing up. In the Jewish religion, wearing a tallit for the first time seems to symbolize the beginning of a new journey – one filled with responsibility and the obligation to do mitzvot according to Jewish law.

When the entire family participates in the choosing of a tallit, grandparents can witness for a second time a new generation continuing to practice the Jewish faith. La Dor Vador – from generation to generation. The gratitude on a grandparent’s face to be alive to see this mitzvah is beyond words. We say “shep nachis,” …well this is what it is all about.

It is different than picking out a dress or suit for the occasion. It is about buying a religious garment for life and remembering when it was purchased and by whom. Many times an adult male will come to me with a tallit that was given to him at his Bar Mitzvah by his grandparents. He asks me to restore it or to somehow incorporate it in a new one because it has such sentimental value.That is why it is so important to make it a personal experience. We hope that every time the recipient wears his or her tallit, they will remember grandma and grandpa or the family member who blessed them with this wonderful and holy gift.

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What is the meaning of “Tallit”

At a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or Wedding, a tallit is often purchased for the groom or child coming of age as a religious ritual. For the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child the tallit is worn for the very first time when they read from the Torah. For the groom it is worn not at the wedding, but the next time he prays in the Synagogue.  Very few people actually ask me what the word “tallit” or “tallis” actually means. I usually put a description in with their bag which I hope is read at some point.

Very simply, “tallit” means “little tent.” Designed to create your own private sanctuary when praying. One wraps the tallit around them and sometimes puts it on their head to have even a more personal prayer experience.  It is the four fringes on each corner, “tzitsis” which have the most significant meaning on the garment. The tzitsis are to remind us during prayer of God’s laws. Without these fringes, the tallis has no religious significance.

As stated in the book of Deuteronomy (22:12), the tzitzit (fringes) are to be placed on a four cornered garment. The Rabbi’s concluded that only a four cornered garment can have tzitzit. Thus, the origin of the prayershawl (tallit) .

Another version of the tallit called a “tallit katan” or “small tallit” is an undergarment worn by many pious Jews all day – a kind of vest worn under clothing.

Tallitot come in all shapes and sizes (another blog topic). However, they all must have four corners and tzitsis tied in the traditional manor to be kosher.  All other parts of the tallit are decorative.

Remember, the decorative part of the tallit has importance too. Although the above is the religious and historical meaning of a tallit, I have experienced over the past several years people who attach their own personal significance to their tallit…..and why not?  It has a different meaning for all of us and we all experience the wearing of a tallit differently.

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Women and the Tallit

Wool

Why do women wear tallitot, and should they? These Jewish prayer shawls are ceremonial and symbolic, and provide an important connection to a woman’s heritage. It also lends itself as a focal point of concentration. Usually made of wool, they are often first worn by children on their Bar or Bat Mitzvahs. Traditionally, however, they are only worn by men.

According to Halachic works, both women and men are forbidden to wear clothing of the opposite gender. As the tallit is most commonly associated with and worn by men, this explains the taboo of a woman wearing one.

So, what should a woman do if she wants to wear a tallit? According to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a woman who wishes to wear a tallit must wear a distinctly feminine one [Igrot Moshe, Orach Chaim V, section 49]. This should not be done as a protest of the tradition, but as a way for a woman to fulfill this mitzvah and recognizing that they are not required to do so.

This issue directly relates woman’s equality and rights, both within the religion and socially. While the Torah does not outright forbid a woman to wear a tallit, it certainly does not encourage it. That does not mean that change isn’t underway, and while Rabbi Feinstein warns a woman not to wear a tallit as a sign of protest, it still nonetheless is an indication that these changes are underway.

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